I used to laugh about making lists.  When I was younger, lists were optional because my brain was able to keep up with everything.  Or it wasn’t so full of worry and stress and responsibility at least.  But now, now, I make lists: grocery lists, packing lists, gift lists, things to do lists…

In the Lenten season, we make lists.  You know, the list of what you are giving up, the list of what you are going to do differently, the list of what makes God smile.  And of course, my sin-list.  I take my faith seriously and I truly want lent to be a meaningful time of reflection and growth so when the stone is rolled away Easter morning, I am ready to proclaim, “He is risen!” and my sin-list is an important part of my preparation.  I ask myself “Where and how is my relationship with God and others not what God desires for me?”

This year, mid-way through lent, my list is done, and I have Bartimaeus to thank for ending this yearly tradition.  Bartimaeus, the blind man begging on a street of Jericho encounters Jesus and even though others were telling him to be quiet, he persisted.  Jesus asks him, “What do you want me to do for you?”  Jesus didn’t ask Bartimaeus for his sin-list at all.  He didn’t care to hear about his failures and sins.  Jesus wants Bartimaeus to seek, claim, and articulate what he NEEDS in order to be in right relationship with God and others – what he needs to be whole.  Blindness was a barrier for him.  It was a stumbling block to living a full and productive life, his best life for and with God and others.  Bartimaeus spoke his need into the universe; the same universe spoken into creation by God.  And Bartimaeus was healed by faith.  He became right with God and right with others so much so, that he continued to follow Jesus along the way.

In this journey through lent, I wonder how long is your sin-list?  Mine seems never ending (even though I have quit writing it down on paper).  But I am not going to add to it any more.  Don’t get me wrong.  There will be something to add before the day has run its course and again tomorrow.  Today, I am spending time considering what do I NEED Jesus to do for me?  What can I be healed of so I will be in right relationship with God and others?  So I can be made whole by the Savior?

Jesus responds to us in grace just as he responded to Bartimaeus.  I’ve tried for years to “fix” my flaws and to make myself a better person.  I have made some progress but the only way I will truly be whole and healed is to let God in Christ work within my life.  That’s what I need today and every day my Savior and Redeemer!.

Many of us are well-versed in offering a confession of sin.  But Jesus’ question (Mark 10:36 &51) is not aimed at the sins of Bartimaeus or our own.  “What do you want me to do for you?” beckons in a different direction.  The question calls us to identify what would make us whole by naming the need that separates us from God and from others.  In that call, it prepares us to follow like Bartimaeus in response to a grace that saves and makes us whole.

                                John Indermark in Gospeled Lives: Encounters with Jesus (pg. 27)

Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging.  When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”

So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.”  Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.

“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.

The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”

“Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

Mark 10:46-52